I started my weight loss journey in May 2019. I went from 75 kilograms (165 pounds) to 60 kg (132 pounds). I lost 15 kilograms or 33 pounds in 7 months and I have a few more to lose until my goal weight. My first goal was to get to a normal weight on the BMI scale and I achieved it!One of my new year's resolutions for 2019 was to lose weight since my medical test results when I applied for my last job showed that I was getting closer to obesity. I also really hated my body. Growing up, I never really felt confident in my body and it was always a source of shame - I treated it as a burden to carry, and I was always wary that it was judged by the way it looked all the time. I lost and gained weight over the years, but I wanted to stop the cycle and commit to living healthy.
I started with exercising at home and walking but I didn't see any changes. Only last May, I started going to the gym and cooking my own food. I signed up because when at home, I'm always distracted and I don't get to exercise as much as I should. I figured that since I paid for a gym membership, there's the added pressure to actually go because the money would be a waste if I don't.
At first, I was so intimidated of the gym because it was the first time I signed up for a membership. Trying to stick to regular exercise every week has not only helped me physically, but my mind and emotions as well. My mind is clearer and I find that I can focus on my day better. I also started strength training and it's actually quite meditative (you have to concentrate on your movement, form, and breathing or you might risk injury) and you feel stronger. At first, I was so self-conscious exercising with other people around, I still am, but I just got used to it.
When I look at my body now, I no longer hate it. It isn't perfect, but I learned that it is stronger and more capable than I think. I tried to lose weight not from a place of lack but by starting to love my body for what it is - it's the only thing in the world that we truly own. Our bodies will age, decay, and die someday - so we might as well care for it and use it to its full potential while we can. I realized that for so long, I had no compassion for it or any love for it. I learned to value it as something worth caring for.
I know that it doesn't end even if I have reached my goal weight. I still have to work at it for life. There will always be the temptation of unhealthy food and laziness. There will always be people who will not understand the struggle and maybe even sabotage my new lifestyle choices. My body and weight might still change.
But the most important thing I learned in this "journey" is that I'm in control - I stopped blaming things around me, and I stopped making excuses. I also learned to stay on course even if I didn't see results after a few weeks. As Chris Pratt said on his own weight loss for his role as Peter Quill/Starlord in Guardians of the Galaxy, "The same time will pass whether you do it or not." There's still a long way ahead.
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